Now that my 30th birthday has come and gone, I thought it might be a good time to reflect back on some of the important life lessons I have learned along the way. Most of these things I have learned from my partner in life Darryl. If this was some fantasy world he would definitely be a ‘wise-man’ or something all knowing like that. As you may have noticed, I haven’t posted in a while. My latest lesson is that I don’t have time for everything, sometimes life needs to take the lead and the hobbies will just have to wait. That being said, I’ve started to adjust to school being out and staying home with a 4 year old and a 3 month old. I’m now trying to make realistic goals and fit in some writing here and there. Usually this means brainstorming while I’m feeding the baby and jumping on the computer for 5 or 10 minute intervals while I’m cooking dinner or my 4 year old is playing a game on his own. Now that we have a second child I am learning that just as you get into the groove of things, they change and you have to figure it all out again. Oh well, c’est la vie.
You can’t please them all, so don’t bother trying
This is an important one, I have spent most of my life trying to do what I thought I was suppose to. Making decisions based on what I thought was expected of me or what was usually a person’s next move. As it turns out, I’m kind of a free spirit that doesn’t fit into a mould and neither should my life. We all get only one life to live and we need to stay true to ourselves. There is always going to be haters and people that disagree with you. While it’s important to consider other point of views, stay true to what your gut tells you and make the decisions that are right for you.
Ask before you Assume
This is a relatively new one for me and an extremely beneficial one. In this digital age of social media, texting and emails there is a lot of room for misconstrued messages and wrongful assumptions. I have learned to clarify before I form an opinion about something I read or hear. More often than not I realize that I misinterpreted what they had said and am glad that we had talked it over. It’s actually amazing how often I get the wrong impression, this is especially beneficial with the opposite gender … men and women really do think differently.
Learn to let go
I am one of those people that will replay a conversation or situation in my head over and over again. I obsess about what I should have done or should have said. It drives me crazy when I make a mistake at work, or get in a fight with a friend. Learning to let go of the things I can’t change is something I am still working on. This is one of the hardest things for me to do. I have a hard time with failure or letting people down. I am learning that you can try to make amends for things that you have done wrong but you can’t change what has happened in the past, you can only learn from it and keep moving forward.
Try to see yourself how others see you
This is a tricky one, it depends on your relationship with yourself. For me, I am my own worst critic so seeing myself through the eyes of others is a positive thing. Whenever I feel like I might not measure up or I’m having a bad day, I try and separate myself from these emotions and give myself the advice I would give to others. Obviously my emotions can get the best of me from time to time, but we are often harder on ourselves then we are on others. We set unrealistic expectations that we wouldn’t expect others to achieve. While having drive and goals are important, we shouldn’t set ourselves up for failure. Set an ideal goal that you would like to one day achieve and one that you think you can achieve in the near future.
Or perhaps you may have the opposite problem, maybe you see yourself as perfect and everyone else as flawed. Do you find your peers constantly not measuring up to the expectations you have set for them? Maybe it’s time you step back and take a good look at their lives. Remember they’re human too, are your expecations for them unrealistic? It is important to evaluate the messages that you are sending out to others. Are you coming of as a jerk or a snob when your only trying to help? Think about the way you speak to others and how you might be misunderstood.
Patience really is a virtue
We live in a world where we can instantly access information, take pictures and see them immediately, we can send a text or an email and get a response back within minutes or seconds. Gone are the days of waiting and as a result of this our patience is almost non existent. We expect immediate results. We want what we want when we want it. I think most of us need to practice the art of patience and seeing things through. I can’t even count the amount of times I have decided not to purse something I wanted because it would ‘take to long’ so it ‘wasn’t worth it’. How lazy am I. Lately I have been trying to stick with things and plug away at them slowly, stick with them even when they frustrate and anger me. I have to say that I am begin to taste how sweet the fruits of my labour can be. I encourage everyone to have patience and to have the perseverance to see things through to the end, no matter how long they take. One step at a time folks, you’ll get there eventually.
Have some gratitude
With the exception of a few very unfortunate people who have truly been handed a ‘poop’ sandwich, we all have some things to be thankful for. Many of us take for granted the things that have come easily to us. Maybe it’s finding love and having a family. Or getting that great job or living in a great house. How about having friends and family that love us. It can be a simple as having a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I am sure most of us can find at least one thing to be grateful for each day. Practice gratitude and your life will suddenly shift into focus and all that silly little stuff you were so stressed out about will suddenly fade away.
I think that is where I will leave you all for today, lots to think about and digest. Onward and upward we go on this journey we call life.